Love is Not Tourism - Pandemic Insomnia

Thoughts that keep me awake at night during the ongoing pandemic

It's cruel. Separated for more than a year from my fiance in India. 
If it were really about safety, then why are business people and sports teams permitted to travel? 
Do governments understand the mental anguish such separation causes, ESPECIALLY during a pandemic?! 
The threat of sickness and death looms ever closer as more people I know have lost someone to Covid. 
Will I get sick? Will he get sick?  Will we die before being reunited? The fear is real.  
So much loss. 
In the span of a few months I've lost my beloved Uncle, who was  like a father to me, lost my yoga studio and my home. So much loss, without being able to hold the hand of the man who holds my heart. Without the comfort of his embrace. Without the safety of his caring presence. 
It's cruel. 
Life has been put on indefinite hold with no path to move forward. 
And I've said before, it's not just one year apart; Couples in long distance relationships have spent many months and years apart. We've been a couple for 4 years and 3 months and in that time have only spent 30 days together.  Endless waiting and longing. 
I'd wait forever for this man, but I shouldn't have to! 


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