One thing I know for sure

I've heard that people are protesting the shutdown. I've heard that people are refusing to wear masks and are ignoring the social distancing recommendations. 
It's not my place to judge or criticize. But I will admit that I am perplexed. It is difficult for me to understand, although I try, I can only truly see from my own eyes. I can only understand from my own experinece. With so much unknown, and difficult to understand, I would like to share with you the one thing that I know for sure; 

I am a small business owner, and the shutdown has, of course, severely impacted my business. I have no reasonable income, and yet the bills keep coming. Will my Yoga Studio be another casualty of Covid-19? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's not about me. 

My kitchen cupboards are getting empty, and the refrigerator is only ghost town now, inhabited by the ghost of produce past. Haha... 👻🍎😄Now it contains only faded memories of crisp apples and sweet mangoes. Will I completely run out of food before the shutdown ends? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's not about me. 

Because I've lost my income, I can't afford my apartment now, so I will be giving up my home and moving in with friends in a few weeks. How long will I need to depend on the generosity of friends? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's not about me. 

My beloved nieces both work in hospitals. Everyday I choke down the white hot terror that they may contract the virus while they are working so hard to care for others. Will my fears become reality? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's not about me. 

The love of my life lives on the other side of the world. We were hoping to see each other again in June, but those plans have since been canceled as borders have been closed and travel restricted. In these days of challenge and uncertainty, how wonderful it would be to wrap myself up in his warm embrace and forget about all this struggle for a while. But that's not an option for me. When will we see each other again? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's not about me. 

My Uncle is dying (not from covid-19) and I haven't been able to visit him, or hug him. Today I asked him how he was doing and he said "Things are going South". If he dies during this pandemic, we won't be able to have a funeral. How will I say goodbye, and honor his life and process my grief without the opportunity to have a funeral service for him? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's not about me. 

It's not about me. It's not about you either. It's about all of us. It's about the good of the collective. It's about kindness and compassion. It's about rising above our self centered attitudes and becoming more. That's right... in this time of less, we have the opportunity to become more. More loving, more generous, more understanding, MORE HUMAN. 
It's not about me. 
This is what I know for sure. 

 

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